I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
