can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
