Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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