He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
id be glad to
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
