Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
