He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize