How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
