its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
