If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
