Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
