dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
