What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
