I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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