Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
