if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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