I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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