Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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