The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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