did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
