Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
