i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
