he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
