We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
