Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
