just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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