The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
