I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
