oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
