One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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