You work out of a Hotel?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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