My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
