dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
