I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize