She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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