I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
