She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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