Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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