Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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