I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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