i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
