Don't you send me to vm
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
