I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
