Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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