I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
