He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize