I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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