I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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