I think I died a long time ago.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize