lets start a swedish sibling band together
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
