can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
