I'm jealous of your bromance
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
