You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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