I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
