Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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