He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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