and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize