I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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