put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
