just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
