Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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