it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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