Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
