The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
