Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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