Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
wow bdsm is so cute
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